I guess I’m the bad guy now.
After leaving the relationship I was in, my life has been on the up and up. Until some drama started and a verbal fight broke out.
Long story short, we are not talking anymore. But not before painting me as the bad guy in the relationship.
But I’m okay with it. I believe I wrote before that even though I had love, I was not in love. Does that make me evil for leading the ex on? Maybe. In their words, I need to “open my eyes”, “didn’t give a f*ck”, and I’m “immature”. Also, the ex writes, “I now see the real you. I now see that you never loved, cared, or respected me. . . I now see that everything you’ve ever said to me was a lie . . . What did I do to deserve the betrayal?”
There is much more actually. The ex comes at my independent nature saying, “Mature up and stop thinking all about how you feel about stuff and take into consideration how other people feel!”
At this point, I decide to do what I do best, and that is go off. I decide to not hold anything back because it is obvious, I will never care about this person again. The low blows come out and, for sake of losing my entire audience, I will not say what I said. However, I could tell there was a demeanor change and the ex tried their best to cope with what was said.
Am I hurt by this whole conversation? Nope. In fact, here is a direct quote, “I’m not hurt seeing as how I’m the one that broke up with you . . .You’re hurt because you still care. You’re insecure. You have so many things you need to figure out.”
I’m not hurt because I never cared the same way that was reciprocated to me. I’m someone who can fake it ’till I make it. I lie on a daily basis and I am okay with it. I got what I wanted and that is it. I wanted nothing more.
Apparently because of that I am a villain. Because I love to exploit people and I love to see them squirm. My last line actually was, “Keep texting me . . . I want to make you cry.” At this point I was completely detached. I saw a number in my phone and that’s it. I could see you get hit by a truck and I would step over your body to get to my dorm.
So what would I call myself? Definitely not a hero. When someone imagines their ideal boyfriend, I would not come to mind. Am I heartless though? No. But there is a certain point where I have lost emotional attachment and you have become entertainment to me.
That is why I am writing this and putting my information and business out there. Because I do not care. I see this as entertaining to me, as in it makes me laugh. I love to shake things up. That is why I did not want to stop the conversation. Even when they were done, I was not. I want you to burn emotionally and I can provide enough fire for you to feel it.
If I had to make a comic book reference, I would call myself an anti-hero. Someone who is neither bad nor good, but does whatever they want. I dated a hero, someone who cares unconditionally and was always accommodating. I know now that a hero is boring. A hero is emotionally weak. And when I don’t care about you anymore, good luck.